Down 40

I had to weigh in a little early this week. Since Monday night I have lost 1.5 pounds which brings the total to 40 pounds since April 17. A good start, but still have a long way to go...Check out my new ticker at the bottom of the page.

Song Dedications

I'm going to start posting a song dedication each week for people who are helping me along my weightloss journey. Two of the main reasons I am working hard to get healthy right now are Chloe and Micah. Their songs are the first two playing on my playlist:

Chloe: "She's a Butterfly" Martina McBride
She's a butterfly, pretty as the crimson sky
Nothing's ever gonna bring her down
And everywhere she goes
Everybody knows she's so glad to be alive
She's a butterfly

Micah: "Godspeed" Dixie Chicks
Godspeed little man,
Sweet Dreams little man,
Oh, my love will fly to you each night on angel's wings
Godspeed (Sweet Dreams)

Down 2

Lost another 2 pounds this week! Yey!!!

Hardest Thing Ever

Losing weight (and keeping it off) is the hardest thing I have ever done. I was reminded of this recently when a friend of the family with good intentions said something that was meant to encourage me. She said something about how I should be able to do this easily (take off the weight). She went on to say how someone like me who has earned a master's degree, has a succesful career, and is a mother of two young children is clearly smart enough and capable enough to lose weight. While maybe I should have taken this as a compliment, it left me stinging a little bit to be honest. My question is that if it is supposedly so easy to lose weight, than why wouldn't someone as "smart" and "capable" as me have done it already?

This is truly the hardest thing I have ever done. And while I am so pleased and excited with the progress I am making, I realize that this is just the beginning of turning around an entire lifetime of bad habits. And I am fighting not only bad habits, but also genes, body chemistry and metabolic syndrome, societal influence, etc. Earning a degree and having children are hard--but for me nothing compares to this lifelong struggle I have with achieving a healthy weight. I feel very strongly that I am the way I am for a reason, and that all struggles can become an opportunity for growth and learning if I let them be. And the truth is that apart from God I can do nothing. It is only through His grace that I am able to continue down this path and to learn lessons that he has in store for me. So, let the learning continue!!

Clothes Shopping

I went clothes shopping briefly today. It was not dreadful like it has been in the recent past. I am down quite a few sizes now, and actually bought a button-front shirt for the first time in a really long time (before had to buy all stretchy knit-like shirts that didn't button). It will be really nice when I get to a point that I don't have to shop the "women's" section. Until then, I am pleased with the progress I am making and am glad for the small successes :)

New Ticker

I added a ticker at the bottom of my blog (scroll down to see) that tracks my weight loss. Fun!!

Letting Go...

A friend of mine shared with me today, that she hasn't heard me sound as healthy/happy as I am right now for a long time. That is because since I have been losing weight I have been letting go of way more than just fat...Here is a list of some other healthy things I have been losing:

-My approval addiction--I don't feel the need to be a people pleaser anymore.

-My perfectionism--I don't need to compensate for being fat by being "perfect" in all other areas anymore.

-My anger--I feel so much more peaceful. So calm and balanced.

-My secrets--I don't feel ashamed or embarassed of how much I weigh or how big I am. I also don't feel the need to hide from anyone what I am eating.

And here is what I am gaining:

-A renewed sense of purpose and spirituality

-A healthful outlook on life

-A renewed love for myself

Never thought losing could feel so good!!

Who knew?

Who knew I would ever try the elliptical machine? Thanks to Melissa for helping me be brave enough!!! I did 20 minutes on one of these today at the gym and it was not nearly as horrible or embarassing as I had imagined. For years this piece of equipment has sort of terrified me...It is so fun to discover that I can do things I never thought that I would. More posts to come later...

Down 5

Down another five pounds as of yesterday morning. I still have 4 weeks of the active phase of the diet before we transition to food again...

Total loss: 36.5 pounds

Wedding

Today is my cousin's wedding. I think it will be a really good time :) Makes me reflect back to my wedding almost 8 years ago. I am a few pounds away from the weight that I was when I got married. And that is the smallest I have been for as long as I can remember (since junior high at least). So breaking through and going beyond that weight will be a major accomplishment. I will have to try on my wedding dress :)

Blogging

I never thought I would enjoy this so much, but blogging is really fun for me! I have found some other blogs that are fabulous that you might also enjoy:

http://www.dietgirl.org/

http://www.pastaqueen.org/

Love both of these blogs and am sure I will be finding more when I have time!

Great Lakes Weight and Wellness

A lot of people have been asking what I am doing to lose weight. Let me say that for many years I have tried countless other diets/weight loss programs to no avail. In April I started Optifast through Great Lakes Weight and Wellness. You can check out there website here:


http://www.greatlakesweightandwellness.com/

Dr. Bell, Melissa-our support group leader and the rest of the staff is phenomenal and I am so grateful for the support I receive there. This is a medically supervised weightloss program that involves 12 weeks of an extremely restrictive calorie diet followed by a transition to learning gradually how to have a healthy relationship with food again. I am involved in a weekly support group which is fabulous and focuses on education and behavioral change. I am also increasing my fitness substantially and have learned lots about the benefits of exercise and hope to improve my fitness routine even more. I am so pleased with this program and would recommend to anyone who has a substantial amount of weight to lose to check into it. The next step for me, had I not found this program, may have been weightloss surgery. For some this is definitely an option, but for now I am glad I didn't have to go down that road.

A Message

Tonight I received a very poignant message. I have joined Curves, and was there working out earlier. The walls are very decorative and have all kinds of information, quotes, etc. hung on them that I like to read so that I won't get bored. My favorite quote hanging on the wall is by one of my favorite writers--Maya Angelou. I have read all of her autobiographies and love her poems too. Here is the quote on the wall at Curves:



"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude."
Maya Angelou

Tonight when I got home, I picked up a book from my shelf that is filled with inspirational quotes and stories. I have a habit of asking God to share with me some wisdom for the day and then I open it randomly and just see what I find. Tonight I flipped open to the middle of the book and there in bold print on the first page I turned to was this:

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude."
Maya Angelou

Guess someone is trying to tell me something...what a lot of wisdom there is in this phrase. Not just for weightloss, but for life in general.

Simplify

I am quite honestly shocked by my most recent interest: cleaning. Other support group members in the weightloss group that I attend have had similar experiences. I want things in my house in order. For those of you who know me--I mean really know me, from way back when--this is a huge change for me. The only time I have ever organized and cleaned like this is when I was "nesting" while I was pregnant. Every day that I am at home I have a new project that I choose to work on. And Chloe loves helping me. I have thrown away soooo much JUNK in the past few weeks. I think it is really symbolic of an internal cleansing that I am experiencing from the weight loss. I want my environment and surroundings to reflect the balance and peace I am feeling inside. We are also looking into re-decorating and adding some color to our home. We got some paint samples this weekend and I was really drawn to very clean, vibrant, healthy colors like yellows (warmth, sunshine) and greens (new growth, new life) In fact my favorite color pallette was called "Citrus".

Here is a website that I really like: www.flylady.net. One of my co-workers told me about it. It helps people to "de-clutter" their lives. There is a link on this site to a book called "Body Clutter". One of my friends shared with our support group that she is reading a book with a similar title/theme. I don't know why I haven't thought of it before, but it makes a lot of sense that people who have disordered eating also sometimes have disordered environments. Fascinating....

Going Down...

Going Down...
Wow--I was down another 4.5 pounds last night. That is 11 pounds in 2 weeks. I have never had weightloss success like this before. Thanks to my friends and family for supporting me so much--especially Jeremy. Total weight loss: 31.5 lbs. in 7 weeks!! I bought a new outfit 2 weeks ago that I am wearing today. My pants are a smaller size than I have worn for a long time, but today they are already feeling too big--this could get expensive to maintain a wardrobe that fits me!! Good thing I enjoy spending $$ :)

Yellow Moments

One of my favorite bloggers is Rosie--I think she's great. She talks a lot about "yellow" as being positive, happy, uplifting, etc. So I sometimes try to think of my life events in terms of what's happening that is "yellow" for me. Here are some yellow moments I have had recently during my weight loss journey...

-I can now run 1 mile (and a little more) and it is not painful. I do this every day and feel so good.
-I can wear my wedding band again--it is even a little loose. For awhile I was wearing a fake ring on my ring finger because my ring simply would not fit on my finger. This means the world to me to be able to wear it again.
-My daughter is learning new, healthy habits and that makes my heart smile. She is proud of her mommy and daddy and as supportive as a 3 year-old can be!
-I have lost the equivalent weight of my son and then some. When I hold him I can't believe I was carrying that much extra weight around.
-I have enough energy to stay up after my kids are in bed and feel like a sane person and spend time with my husband every night.
-I have learned how to reach out and ask for help when I need it along the way. It's okay that I don't have all the answers about how to do this.
-I can fit into clothing that I have not worn for at least 6 years. I bought new capris in a much smaller size than I was wearing.
-I just feel good. Everywhere. My body, my mind, my soul. I feel peaceful and have such gratitude to God.
-I am learning more about myself than I ever have--even in all of my experiential music therapy courses for personal growth, or my own personal therapy. This experience is giving me such insight into myself. And I am learning that I really like myself a lot.

Updated Playlist

Thank the Lord for iTunes!! I have downloaded so many songs to keep me motivated while I'm working out. Here's an update with a few more songs/artists that keep me moving:

Fall Out Boy-This Aint' a Scene (and pretty much everything else by FOB)
Natasha Bedingfield-Pocket Full of Sunshine
Jill Scott-Golden
U2-City of Blinding Lights
Sarah McLachlan-Bloom-Remix Album

What gets you moving? Any suggestions? Anyone?

Totally Not Weight-Related

Hooray for Obama!! What a proud moment in our history as a country. We are behind him 100% in our family.

Woo Hoo!!

I met a major milestone this week! I lost 6.5 pounds this week, which puts me at 27 total lbs. lost since I started 6 weeks ago. I have now lost 10% of my body weight. Feels really good!!!!

Fun Weekend

We had such a fun weekend--and we were so active!! We went to the Toledo Zoo (love it) on Saturday. For anyone who has ever been there before you know that there is the craziest ramp to get to an overpass to walk from one side of the zoo to the other. In the past I have "huffed and puffed" my way up the hill hating every step of the way. On Saturday I was not even winded--I enjoyed being out and walking all over the zoo with my kids!! Sunday we went to the beach. Again I had so much fun playing, walking the beach, etc., and didn't once have to stop to think about how tired or out of shape I felt. Yey!!! These small successes are way more important to me than the numbers going down on the scales.

Weight Discrimination

Check out this article on USA Today:

"Weight discrimination could be as common as racial bias"
By Svetlana Shkolnikova

Here's the URL-

http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/weightloss/
2008-05-20-overweight-bias_N.htm

Two studies have suggested that weight discrimination may be as common as racial discrimination--not surprising to me at all but still sad....An interesting read.

Inspiration...

"...but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint."
-Isaiah