A Message

Tonight I received a very poignant message. I have joined Curves, and was there working out earlier. The walls are very decorative and have all kinds of information, quotes, etc. hung on them that I like to read so that I won't get bored. My favorite quote hanging on the wall is by one of my favorite writers--Maya Angelou. I have read all of her autobiographies and love her poems too. Here is the quote on the wall at Curves:



"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude."
Maya Angelou

Tonight when I got home, I picked up a book from my shelf that is filled with inspirational quotes and stories. I have a habit of asking God to share with me some wisdom for the day and then I open it randomly and just see what I find. Tonight I flipped open to the middle of the book and there in bold print on the first page I turned to was this:

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude."
Maya Angelou

Guess someone is trying to tell me something...what a lot of wisdom there is in this phrase. Not just for weightloss, but for life in general.

Yellow Moments

One of my favorite bloggers is Rosie--I think she's great. She talks a lot about "yellow" as being positive, happy, uplifting, etc. So I sometimes try to think of my life events in terms of what's happening that is "yellow" for me. Here are some yellow moments I have had recently during my weight loss journey...

-I can now run 1 mile (and a little more) and it is not painful. I do this every day and feel so good.
-I can wear my wedding band again--it is even a little loose. For awhile I was wearing a fake ring on my ring finger because my ring simply would not fit on my finger. This means the world to me to be able to wear it again.
-My daughter is learning new, healthy habits and that makes my heart smile. She is proud of her mommy and daddy and as supportive as a 3 year-old can be!
-I have lost the equivalent weight of my son and then some. When I hold him I can't believe I was carrying that much extra weight around.
-I have enough energy to stay up after my kids are in bed and feel like a sane person and spend time with my husband every night.
-I have learned how to reach out and ask for help when I need it along the way. It's okay that I don't have all the answers about how to do this.
-I can fit into clothing that I have not worn for at least 6 years. I bought new capris in a much smaller size than I was wearing.
-I just feel good. Everywhere. My body, my mind, my soul. I feel peaceful and have such gratitude to God.
-I am learning more about myself than I ever have--even in all of my experiential music therapy courses for personal growth, or my own personal therapy. This experience is giving me such insight into myself. And I am learning that I really like myself a lot.

Loving the Before Picture

I am learning that in order to make a real, lasting, positive difference it is so important to learn to love the "before picture". In the past when I have lost weight, the more I lose the more I start to hate the person that I was when I was bigger. I get disgusted when I see old pictures or videos and think--that isn't even me anymore. But, I think the real key is accepting and loving the girl in the before picture and knowing that she is me, just a less healthy version who needs a lot of love and support. And that is what I am giving myself right now!! It is an enlightening journey...(will post my before picture when I get is scanned in)

A Pretty Face

For a long time now I have known I have had this condition--I call it "Body-less Head Syndrome". If anyone else has ever had it than you know it feels a whole lot like you are head that is missing a body. I have more body awareness now than I used to, but at times it feels like I am completely detached from the neck down. When you are big, you spend a lot of time trying to cover, hide, camouflage and do pretty much anything you need to do to draw attention away from your body. People have told me my whole life, "You have such a pretty face!"--which seems like a compliment--if I was just a head!! Now that I am moving my body more, acknowledging it and taking care of it, I feel like my head is becoming re-attached to it. Interestingly the only other thing that has ever helped me feel more body awareness is singing. Go figure--I became a vocalist!! The whole experience of a sound coming from somewhere within, combined with the physical properties of singing--breathing, vibration and resonance throughout the body is one of the things that helps me to connect my head, body and soul.

Who would've thought?

Yesterday and this morning I got up and jogged 1 mile!! I never, ever thought I would be able to do that. Wow. What a good feeling :)

Why not?

George Bernard Shaw:
You see things; and you say "Why?" But I dream things that never were; and I say "Why not?"

Transformation...

The other night my husband said something that has really stayed with me for the past few days about our new healthier lifestyle...He was talking about how we are experiencing a transformation of our whole lives--physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. He is so right.




Merriam Webster On-Line Dictionary

transform:
1 a: to change in composition or structure b: to change the outward form or appearance of c: to change in character or condition

What an incredible feeling!

Thoughts...

So yesterday was a little disappointing...staying the same on the scales is a little bit of a let down, but I am trying not to let it discourage me. Here are some "yellow" moments that helped me to put things in perspective:

*When I put on my guitar to play during my sessions, I thought my strap was broken, because the guitar felt too low--it turns out that my strap is actually getting too big b/c I am getting smaller! How cool.

*Also, last night while I was on the treadmill I had no prior intention of doing this, but once I moving and listening to my ipod I felt inspired to run!! I ran for a few minutes and then walked, and ran for a few minutes and walked, etc. Might not seem like a big deal, but honestly, the last time I ran was in 7th grade when we had to run a mile in phys. ed. I haven't ran since. It actually felt really good. The interesting thing is that lately I have been having dreams at night that I am running really fast and it feels really good. Tis' the season for new beginnings!!