Thursday, August 28, 2008

Change, Change, Change


Every fall for me is like a whole new adjustment process. I have the summers off, so I kind of forget that by late August life will again become crazy. September (back to school) is always a really good, exciting time for me, but it is full of changes. I go back to work, kids go to daycare/preschool, we start fall activities, etc., etc., etc. Even though these are all positive changes it is still somewhat of a disruption in our regular routine. In the past I have not been very healthy physically during these times. I "can't" find time to work in fitness, get behind on planning meals and grocery shopping, forget to bring something for lunch--in fact I usually use unhealthy food as a way to cope with the change. So this year, I am feeling a little unsteady without my usual crutch (food). I am trying to stay organized and ahead of the game, but I feel very insecure right now about getting into a new, healthy fall routine. One that meets my continued need for weight loss support ...I will do my best to carry this summer with me into the fall and continue all of the important healthy lifestyle changes we have made.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Stayed the Same

I went briefly to GLWW tonight with Jeremy to weigh in. I stayed the same this week which is okay. In looking back at the past several months I have noticed a pattern in my weight loss. I seem to have a few weeks of pretty significant losses and then my body slows down and evens out a little for a few weeks. It also seems that for whatever reason, everytime I begin cleaning and organizing I shed several pounds. Better go clean out another closet :)

Irene O'Garden

A few weeks ago I posted about a book I read that has inspired me more than anything during this journey.

Irene O'Garden now has a MySpace page:

www.myspace.com/ireneogarden


Also, check out her website:

www.ireneogarden.com


Her journey is incredibly moving and real!!

Friday, August 22, 2008

Back to School


Last night I went back to my alma mater (EMU) where I did my undergrad. degree. I was there for a training, but could not help but think about the years that I spent there on campus. I was reminded of lots of things...lots and lots of good times, but also my struggles with being overweight. I remember humiliating moments, like walking into class the first day and praying that I would fit okay into the little desks. Or taking notes on my lap in lecture halls, because the little desk thing would not fit around my stomach. I was also remembering how hard it was for me to get around. I detested walking up the big hill to the library or student union--not because fat people are "lazy" as most people think, but because it is literally painful to move your body sometimes when you are so big. I remember feeling awkward at parties/social gatherings, and trying so hard to use my sense of humor to hide my awkardness... It is so easy to focus on the negative-- But so many good memories too. Finding myself, falling in love, making lifelong friendships...what a trip down memory lane. I would not change a thing if I could go back in time.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Ann Taylor


Yesterday I went shopping for a little bit to look for a few new things for the school year. My friend Laurel (thanx, laurel!) encouraged me to try some things on at Ann Taylor Loft. I was doubtful that anything in a "regular"--meaning non-plus-sized--store would even come close to fitting, but decided to try anyhow. To my delightful surprise, I was able to buy several items!! This is the first time (probably in my entire life) that I have not needed a plus-size in clothing. A size 16 might sound really big to some, but it is the smallest size I have worn for a really long time (like since I was 13). What a great feeling!!! It is nice to be able to try new styles...although I'm definitely not ready to say goodbye to Lane Bryant just yet.

Monday, August 18, 2008

Nostalgia...65 pounds later...


Tonight I completed my 18 weeks at GLWW. Now, granted, I may continue to attend support groups there periodically, as I definitely feel I still need that just as much as an alcoholic needs AA, but nonetheless, it is the end of the transition phase and I am feeling nostalgic. Even a little melancholy to be honest...So much has changed in 4 and a half months. I am the same person, but changed for good (thus the playlist update). Not sure if that makes sense to anyone but me, and that's okay. For my final weigh-in tonight, I lost 2 pounds. That means I have lost 14 pounds in the past 3 weeks. It is gratifying to see that my weightloss has actually accelerated as I have returned to eating "real" food and making my own choices about what I put into my body. And to know that this is just the beginning of an entire new way of being for me is wonderful. Definitely not an ending. Just the beginning....


April 17, 2008: 275 lbs.

August 18, 2008: 210 lbs.

Possibilities for continued personal growth and mindful, healthful living: UNLIMITED

Monday, August 11, 2008

Down, down, down...




At my weekly weigh-in tonight I lost 5 pounds! What a successful few weeks this has been! I have now hit the half-way marker....I still have a long way to go, but now that I have gone this far I owe it to myself to stick with it. Scroll to the bottom of the page to see my weightloss tracker.



Total Weight Loss: 63 pounds (since April 17)
Total cost of program: Very Expen$ive
Total insight, self-love, and confidence gained: Pricele$$


Best wishes for a great week,
KEB

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Down 7

I lost 7 pounds this week! This is the biggest week I have had besides my very first week on the program. That is encouraging, as my active involvement with GLWW is winding down, and I will soon be "on my own" to continue my weight loss journey. The only problem is--is that now NONE of my clothes are fitting me--even my "skinny" clothes that I have been hanging onto for many years now....Oh well--totally worth it.

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Fat Girl--Irene O'Garden


Yesterday I read an entire book in one day called "Fat Girl". I have been really into reading weightloss memoirs lately for obvious reasons. This one moved me so much. I found myself in tears after reading it, b/c I could identify so strongly with the author and her journey with obesity from childhood to young adulthood. It was so poignant. In one section of the book she confronts and says goodbye to her "inner bitch". The voice of the critic that is constantly telling her how she will fail again, she is a loser, she's a pig, etc. I said goodbye to my inner bitch along with her and welcomed the newer, gentler voice of my "inner wise woman". She's always been within me, I just haven't listened to her as much. She is much more loving and forgiving! What a spiritual journey this has turned out to be for me. Deep stuff...