Airplane Seatbelts

I had a major moment of success this weekend while travelling to a music therapy conference in St. Louis. I am ashamed to admit that in the past I have had to ask for an "extendor" seatbelt, as the regular belts didn't fit me. This weekend the first thing I did when I got on the plane was check to make sure it fit--and it did!! With room to spare!!! And the little tray table came down and wasn't right on top of my stomach!!! However--I am still an advocate of having seating that accommodates all sizes on a plane. I understand first-hand how humiliating it is to worry if you're going to fit into one of those tiny seats or not. And some airlines actually charge for an extra seat if a customer is obese--that is just plain discriminatory.

A lot of people ask me if I "feel better"--and I tell them that I do. I feel much more comfortable, if that makes sense. I can fit in smaller places, cross my leg, fold my arms, etc. When I was bigger everything felt awkward and uncomfortable. This new found flexibility with my body has been one of my favorite parts of losing weight.

As for my eating during the conference...I did okay. I still watched what I ate, but I did enjoy myself out to dinner with friends. The most important thing is that I remained in control and am able to be right back on track now. It is a good feeling to have control over my eating rather than to let it control me!!

BLT's

I remember some wisdom I learned at Weight Watchers years ago that I really need topay attention to right now. I remember when one of the group leaders talked about "BLT's" one day. I of course assumed she would give us some diet recipe for bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwiches. But actually, she was referring to "Bites, Licks, Tastes". This has been dangerous territory for me lately. Up until recently I have had such discipline, but for the past week or so I have found myself sampling a bite of this, a taste of that, etc. The dangerous part about this is that bites, licks and tastes lead to gulps, gorges and binges--I know from the past. So while I haven't gotten to that point yet, I need to keep this behavior in check or I know too well what can happen. It is very similar, I would imagine, to an alcoholic taking a sip of a drink--which leads to another and another until the whole bottle is gone....Hopefully I can nip this in the bud!! Hope everyone is having a good week :)

Messenger

Did you know that the word "angel" is actually derived from the greek work for "messenger"? I truly believe that God frequently sends messengers in the form of friends to share something with us that we need to hear. For the past few days I have been exchanging messages with a friend who read my blog. She shared with me how my blog resonates with her personally and that she appreciated my honesty. To be very honest, my blog has been mostly self-serving thus far in my journey. A place where I can gather my thoughts, record my weightloss journey and a way to stay accountable. But after receiving her message I feel a much greater sense of purpose for my blog. I wear a necklace that I bought in northern Michigan this summer that has two small silver tags. One is inscripted with the word "hope" and the other says "inspire". I would like to keep recording this whole process via my blog to both give and receive messages of hope and inspiration. So thankYOU for inspiring ME!!

Hot Tea and Sugarless Gum

Sugarless gum and hot tea are my two weightloss secrets right now. When I feel the need to chew on something that I shouldn't--I put a piece of gum in my mouth. When I need to fill my stomach--I fill it with yummy hot tea. Also, since I have become a tea fan I have been frequenting local coffee shops that have a nice ambience. Gives me the sense that I am doing something "special" for myself. I've definitely picked up lots of new tricks to help me continue fighting this battle!!!

Favorite teas: Anything by "Republic of Teas"--Mango Ceylon, etc.

Favorite gum: Trident--multiple flavors :)

I have lost over ninety pounds

Having lost 91 pounds (as of tonight on my bathroom scales) means that I am only 9 pounds away from a total weight loss of 100 pounds. Throughout my weightloss journey I have tried to downplay the amount of weight I have lost, so that I can "keep my head in the game" and not slip-up by being over-confident. However, I must say that 100 pounds is just a lot no matter how you slice it. Wow. Party at ktbourbin.blogspot.com when I reach that milestone!

Daily Weigh-In

Back in "the day" I remember learning that it was important to only weigh oneself weekly. Weighing too often, it was believed, could be misleading due to water weight, etc. However, I have found that the key for me is to weigh in daily. I do not let a day pass without weighing myself. I know too well that if I do I will likely let things get out of control with my eating. It has just become a part of my routine that helps me to remain on track and stay accountable. Just thought I would share what works for me...

My Shoes

I noticed today that my shoes are too big. I wonder how many people realize that when one loses weight it is lost EVERYWHERE. Unfortunately I can't decide what part of my body shrinks--even my feet are getting smaller. I kept feeling like I hadn't velcroed my shoes right b/c they felt so loose. When I looked down I realized that my shoes--like every other apparel item I own are too big for my feet now.

Also--every so many pounds a strange phenomena happens. I had 4 people not recognize me today. Some of these were people that I don't see very often, but a few were people I see regularly. I guess my shape must be changing. It is an awkward feeling to have to say, "It's Katie"--to remind them who I am. I wish I could see myself the way others do. In my mind most days I am still 275 pounds. I still use the handicap bathroom b/c I think I need the extra room, I still take the long way around the outside of the crowded room, b/c I don't think I can fit between people's chairs, I still worry that when I ride in someone else's car their seatbelt might not fit well....I wonder when/if all of that will change. I also still identify really strongly with other women who are big. I saw a bigger mom of a young child today, and felt complete empathy. I thought about how hard it used to be to carry around my own 275+ pounds and carry a 25 pound child too. Or how in your heart you have all the energy you need to keep up with the little one, but your body is just too slow and awkward. I wondered if she feels the need to overcompensate for her heavy body by pleasing everyone around her but herself...I hope I always keep my empathy/sensitivity about what it feels like to be overweight. I never want to forget it, because it has shaped my personality so much. Through our stuggles we grow (or shrink in my case) :)

long time no post

Long time, no post. We are very busy right now, and very honestly, although I am continuing to lose weight, it has slowed down to a snail's pace. I figured this would happen eventually and am determined to keep going regardless!!

I must say that with the events of our nation/world right now, my weight loss blog seems pretty insignificant. I am ecstatic that Barack Obama is the president-elect. What a proud moment for our country. I have hope for our future, and for my childrens' future now. This is such an exciting time to be alive! Words cannot describe how pleased I am about the direction our country is heading :)