Messenger

Did you know that the word "angel" is actually derived from the greek work for "messenger"? I truly believe that God frequently sends messengers in the form of friends to share something with us that we need to hear. For the past few days I have been exchanging messages with a friend who read my blog. She shared with me how my blog resonates with her personally and that she appreciated my honesty. To be very honest, my blog has been mostly self-serving thus far in my journey. A place where I can gather my thoughts, record my weightloss journey and a way to stay accountable. But after receiving her message I feel a much greater sense of purpose for my blog. I wear a necklace that I bought in northern Michigan this summer that has two small silver tags. One is inscripted with the word "hope" and the other says "inspire". I would like to keep recording this whole process via my blog to both give and receive messages of hope and inspiration. So thankYOU for inspiring ME!!

Hot Tea and Sugarless Gum

Sugarless gum and hot tea are my two weightloss secrets right now. When I feel the need to chew on something that I shouldn't--I put a piece of gum in my mouth. When I need to fill my stomach--I fill it with yummy hot tea. Also, since I have become a tea fan I have been frequenting local coffee shops that have a nice ambience. Gives me the sense that I am doing something "special" for myself. I've definitely picked up lots of new tricks to help me continue fighting this battle!!!

Favorite teas: Anything by "Republic of Teas"--Mango Ceylon, etc.

Favorite gum: Trident--multiple flavors :)

I have lost over ninety pounds

Having lost 91 pounds (as of tonight on my bathroom scales) means that I am only 9 pounds away from a total weight loss of 100 pounds. Throughout my weightloss journey I have tried to downplay the amount of weight I have lost, so that I can "keep my head in the game" and not slip-up by being over-confident. However, I must say that 100 pounds is just a lot no matter how you slice it. Wow. Party at ktbourbin.blogspot.com when I reach that milestone!

Daily Weigh-In

Back in "the day" I remember learning that it was important to only weigh oneself weekly. Weighing too often, it was believed, could be misleading due to water weight, etc. However, I have found that the key for me is to weigh in daily. I do not let a day pass without weighing myself. I know too well that if I do I will likely let things get out of control with my eating. It has just become a part of my routine that helps me to remain on track and stay accountable. Just thought I would share what works for me...

My Shoes

I noticed today that my shoes are too big. I wonder how many people realize that when one loses weight it is lost EVERYWHERE. Unfortunately I can't decide what part of my body shrinks--even my feet are getting smaller. I kept feeling like I hadn't velcroed my shoes right b/c they felt so loose. When I looked down I realized that my shoes--like every other apparel item I own are too big for my feet now.

Also--every so many pounds a strange phenomena happens. I had 4 people not recognize me today. Some of these were people that I don't see very often, but a few were people I see regularly. I guess my shape must be changing. It is an awkward feeling to have to say, "It's Katie"--to remind them who I am. I wish I could see myself the way others do. In my mind most days I am still 275 pounds. I still use the handicap bathroom b/c I think I need the extra room, I still take the long way around the outside of the crowded room, b/c I don't think I can fit between people's chairs, I still worry that when I ride in someone else's car their seatbelt might not fit well....I wonder when/if all of that will change. I also still identify really strongly with other women who are big. I saw a bigger mom of a young child today, and felt complete empathy. I thought about how hard it used to be to carry around my own 275+ pounds and carry a 25 pound child too. Or how in your heart you have all the energy you need to keep up with the little one, but your body is just too slow and awkward. I wondered if she feels the need to overcompensate for her heavy body by pleasing everyone around her but herself...I hope I always keep my empathy/sensitivity about what it feels like to be overweight. I never want to forget it, because it has shaped my personality so much. Through our stuggles we grow (or shrink in my case) :)

long time no post

Long time, no post. We are very busy right now, and very honestly, although I am continuing to lose weight, it has slowed down to a snail's pace. I figured this would happen eventually and am determined to keep going regardless!!

I must say that with the events of our nation/world right now, my weight loss blog seems pretty insignificant. I am ecstatic that Barack Obama is the president-elect. What a proud moment for our country. I have hope for our future, and for my childrens' future now. This is such an exciting time to be alive! Words cannot describe how pleased I am about the direction our country is heading :)

The Smallest Winner

At work right now there is a fabulous contest going on that I joined. Instead of the "Biggest Loser" someone suggested a competition called the "Smallest Winner"--a much more positive title if you ask me!! This has been a great way for me to continue to feel accountable and have somewhere to weigh in weekly. In addition to being weighed by the school nurse, another incentive to work hard is that there is a giant chart on the wall in the break room that reports everyone's weekly progress!! Since we started 2 weeks ago I have lost 3.8 pounds :) At the end of the contest the top 3 winners will get a cash prize--we all paid $20 at the beginning, plus $1 for each pound gained, and $5 for any missed weigh-ins. How fun!! Gotta' get cracking if I'm going to be the smallest winner!!!!

un-stuck

I am officially "un-stuck"--I have broken through to the 180's!!! Hoorah!!! Also, scroll down to see my Flickr pictures updates as well as my ticker :)

one step at a time

I am trying to remember that I have lost a significant amount of weight in a relatively short amount of time. I have been a little "stuck" for the past 2 weeks and am feeling frustrated. Patience with this whole process is the key. My body has been going through so many changes that it is inevitable that at some point it will need to "catch up" and slow down a little. I have to really look many of the non-number successes when I plateau like this. How much better I feel, increased energy, enthusiasm for life, etc. I will have to work extra hard from here until spring--a period of time during which I typically gain a lot of weight. Here's to a new way of living and thinking this fall and winter!!!!!

my "new" face

One of my co-workers commented today on how my face looks completely different to her since I have lost weight. I have also had multiple people say that they didn't recognize me at first when they saw me. While I am very happy about my weightloss (83 pounds and counting) I must admit that the changes in my appearance are somewhat weird for me. I don't realize it on a day to day basis, but when I look at pictures I think my face looks strange. For anyone who knows me--you know that I have had a round face pretty much since the day I was born. My thinner face is fine, but it just looks so different to me. Older looking--and now that I can see the bone structure of my face I realize that I have a smaller frame than I realized...Don't misunderstand. I would not trade my weightloss for ANYTHING--I feel so much better. But sometimes, just because I had gotten so used to them, I do miss my chubby cheeks a little bit ;)